LAST WORDS

He came to work for us a few months ago, just one of many of the counselors who come and go at the residential child care facility where I work. He was a quiet man, a man who always had a smile and a cheerful "hello" whenever he was coming on or going off shift. Sometimes we greeted each other in passing when we worked different shifts, sometimes we worked the same shift.

I'll call him "David", even though that wasn't his real name.

Our facility experienced a severe cutback recently, and "David's" hours were reduced to a 24-hour week. He was transferred to one of the other units, but since I do the filing at night, I saw him at least once a week. Worry lines had formed above his beard, the same kind of worry that plagues many Americans during this trying time where there is not enough work and not enough money to meet all the bills. Still, he always greeted me with that warm smile and gentle voice.

I knew very little about his personal life. I've learned a lot more over the past few days.

I wonder what my last words were when I spoke to him a week ago Monday night (early Tuesday morning) when I was on his unit filing in the charts. Did I thank him for unlocking the chart cabinet? Did I jokingly tell him to "get to work" as I walked out the door? Did I bid him a good night? Did I say, "see ya next week"? Would I have said something different if I had known the words I spoke were the last ones he would hear from me?

I'm still shocked at the news that greeted me when I went back to work this past Sunday night. The police had called sometime earlier in the evening to notify our facility that "David" was found dead in his home. He was 51 years old.

"David" and I talked about work, the weather, the elections back in November, favorite TV shows, and any number of other subjects. I had the impression from the opinions he voiced that he was a man of faith, but I never asked. I wonder if he knew Jesus and if he is resting peacefully in the arms of the Lord now.

Strange how easy it is to talk to people we don't know that well about almost every subject except the one that is most important. How often do we ask those we know if they believe in God? If they know Jesus? If they know where they are going when they die?

I wish I had known some of the problems "David" was facing, living in a home with no heat, his fears about his mom who was recently diagnosed with a major illness, his concerns about his kids. I don't know that I could have done anything to help, but I could have prayed.

Tomorrow I will go to "David's" memorial service and mourn with those who knew him much better than I. Even though he is one of many people who have crossed my path over the years, I will miss him.

I hope to see him again when the Lord calls me home.

Thanks for reading my blog.

A GLIMPSE OF THE FUTURE

Well, some of my questions about the future have been answered since I last wrote. The results of my medical tests came back and everything is fine. Well, almost. The doctor had wanted me to undergo endoscopy because I am anemic and also lacking in Vitamin B12. The endoscopy revealed no sign of cancer or any abnormality, but I still need to follow up with my doc about the anemia. In the meantime, I'm taking the B12, iron, and Vitamin C he prescribed - when I remember.

I admit it. I'm a nurse and hardly ever forget to give one of my patients their medications, but when it comes to my own, I have a brain freeze. Seems I only remember to take my own pills when I see my husband taking his. Maybe that stems from the dislike I have for swallowing pills, although I've kind of gotten used to that. There are certain pills I just refuse to take, though. Like those horribly huge vitamins that feel like they are wrapped in sandpaper. No way! Not for me! I've been taking Calcium on a regular basis, but when hubby replenished our supply the other day and purchased the regular Calcium and not the gel-caps that are nice and soft and slither down easily, well, forget it. My body will just have to be Calcium deprived until I can get out to Wal-mart myself and get the kind of pills I can handle.

Okay, on to the next unanswered question in my life. I haven't met her yet, but I now know the name of the lady who will be our new boss at work. I'm excited for the changes a new person to our organization will bring. It wasn't until the announcement was made that I fully realized how relieved I was to have not been selected for the Director of Nursing position. I didn't relish the thought of returning to full time. Let someone younger face the demands and the long hours associated with that job! I'll be content to do my two or three days a week.

Our reading group is starting the new year with one of the classics, To Kill A Mockingbird. One of our members, a former English teacher, spoke so highly of that book as her favorite that I finally suggested we read it as a group. I know I must have read it sometime in my life, but it was one of those books whose character names I recognized, yet I could not tell at any point in the story what was coming next. I thought it was a great book to read in parallel with the inauguration of President Obama. What a long way our country has come in the area of race relations! I am thankful for that.

I've heard from members of one of the critique groups I'm in, which has prompted me to again revisit my novel and start sending work to them. It's been a while since I sent anything to anyone for review. I'm excited about the prospect of getting busy with writing again. I haven't written out any elaborate plan for this year, but I hope to make more progress than I have in the past. Sometimes I wish I could quit the part-time job and just write, but the way the economy is, that's not such a good idea right now!

I plan to balance my fiction reading with some non-fiction choices this year. It's been a while since I read a good writing craft book (I have a couple I purchased last year and still haven't read). Then, I want to read a few books that will deepend my faith journey. I started this year with a book my sister sent me for Christmas, Max Lucado's "Cure for the Common Life". It's a great book that has caused me to take a long look at my life, where I've been and where I'm going.

I think when a person gets to be my age, where more of my life is behind me than ahead of me, I try harder to make every day count for something. My main goal is to give the glory to God, whether writing or reading, working or enjoying my family, for the good days, the bad days, the trials and the triumphs. I'm going to work on smiling more and complaining less, looking for the strengths in people and overlooking the weaknesses, building up instead of tearing down, and bringing light to the lives of others instead of contributing to the darkness.

Thanks for reading my blog.

PAST YEARS AND FUTURE FEARS

Greetings, everyone! Hope this Christmas season was the most joyous one for all and that a bright, healthy, happy, and very blessed future waits for each and every one of you in 2009!

Where have I been this whole Christmas season? Goodness, I can't believe how the time flew by! Our regular night nurse, who had taken a few days off to be with her husband while he underwent surgery, ended up hospitalized herself and was out of work for close to three weeks. So, I picked up her shifts in the midst of getting ready for Christmas and for our son and DIL's visit from New York. I don't ever mind working for my dear friend, but the night shift seems to eat up the hours more than any other.

Anyway, Christmas Day came and, even though I was sure I wouldn't be, I was ready for it. the tree got up and decorated, all the gifts were wrapped, Christmas cards sent, some of the bills were even paid before the big day rolled around. Despite the rush, I had plenty of time to ruminate on the meaning of Christmas on the day itself. I had a nice long drive to pick up the kids at the airport that day. I listened to my favorite Christian radio station and enjoyed the Christmas carols they played. Sometimes I turned the radio down and just let myself get lost in my own thougts of Christmases past.

It's amazing to think that the center of attention at gift opening time is now a seven-year old granddaughter instead of our own former seven-year old daughter and her six-year old brother. The daughrer is now mom to the granddaughter and the son has made a life for himself and his wife of four years in New York City.

Twenty years ago on Christmas morning, I never would have dreamed that someday we would be sharing the joy of Christmas with the people we do now, our precious granddaughter, her dad, our son's sweet wife, members of her family, people who were totally unknown to us not that long ago. Conversely, a twinge of sadness stabs my heart when I think of those who have passed from our lives over the past twenty years. My dad. My husband's mom. Countless relatives and friends I used to send Christmas cards to who have left this world.

I wonder about the next twenty years, or thirty, or forty, or how many more God will give me and who I will meet during that time. How many people will enter our lives that we can't even begin to imagine today? What influence will we have on them? What impact will they have on our lives? Sometimes I wish I knew, but most of the time, I'm glad I don't. It is the element of surprise that makes life exciting, and who is better at giving that gift of surprise than God?

He makes every day a present to be unwrapped, exclaimed over, and treasured. Some of the presents are so common and ordinary that they are soon forgotten, like the candy bar a child finds in her stocking and eats without a second thought about it. Some presents are disappointments, gifts that aren't quite what we expected, but in looking back, they teach a life lesson about gratitude and appreciation for the giver. Most gifts, though, are a pure delight, something that reflects the love of the giver and holds its value in our hearts for years to come.

One of those gifts is the gift, I believe, of the unkonwn. Wouldn't life be so different if we knew everything that was going to happen to us? If we could see into the future, the pleasure of those unexpected joys would be overshadowed by the trials that lie ahead. I think that, during the low times in our lives, the times of sorrow and despair and discouragement, it is the surprise of unexpected joy and happiness that puts life back into perspective.

I started this year facing the uncertainty of testing for a medical condition. The procedure wasn't bad at all. The prep was a lot worse. Four liters of liquid to be consumed in four hours. Let me tell you, that's a lot of drinking! LOL! I'm still awaiting the results of the test, but I feel confident that whatever they are, the Lord will guide me through whatever He has in store as far as my health is concerned.

Work has its uncertainties too. We've done a lot of downsizing in order to deal with these trying economic times, just as many other organizations have had to do. We're hoping to come back stronger than ever, serving troubled kids and helping them through a difficult time in their lives. Our boss has resigned his position, so someone else will soon be taking charge, and that always leads to changes and adjustments. I'm looking forward to that with excited anticipation. I've applied for the position myself, but not one bit sure that is where the Lord wants me right now. I'll probably find out sometime in the next couple of weeks.

Our daughter plans to take some testing that may lead to a promotion for her job. Our son and daughter-in-law may be living in a different part of the country, maybe the world, by next Christmas. Our first-grade granddaughter is discovering new things every day, especially since she loves to read and the written word opens up all kinds of learning adventures for her.

I have great plans to write some articles and submit them, work on my novel, and continue writing for my church newsletter. I'd like to be a lot more aggressive about seeking markets, even for small pieces that can gain me some credit in the writing world. Only the Lord knows what new friends I will make and contacts I will cultivate in the writing world this year.

So many unknowns to look forward to! I'm excited to see 2009 unfold! I hope you are too!

NOTE: I'm seeking stories of "Kids Into Doing Something Spectacular" for my K.I.D.S.S. page. Please refer to it for my story about Justus Stewart. If you have something you think may fit what I'm looking for, please contact me via the site. Thanks!

Thanks for reading my blog.